Life is one big paradox.
Take the issue of helping B decide on what to do with his life.
Part of me tells him to ease into it, to follow his heart and not to get sucked into a lifetime, soul-destroying, corporate career. The other, larger part, tells him to get an education and a job and start earning to support himself. He needs a push in the right direction, a little loving motivation. He can’t sit around the house next year.
I think my main message to him, born out of my own mistakes and choices which have kept me less than free for 20-working years is:
- Don’t fall into the trap of debt.
- Don’t stay stuck in a career you dislike.
- Follow your heart and live a life of ‘enough’.
- Spend on what brings you pleasure, contribute to humanity and those around you, but stay free. Stay independant and as self-sufficient as possible.
- Stay happy.
- You need to get an education and some work and life experience. But no. You don’t need to do that for the rest of your life. It’s not necessarily to get ‘stuck’ in the rut and work at the same thing for the rest of your life.
- But at the start you need to gain some experience of life, some experience of what makes you happy and what drains you. You have to try things otherwise you’ll never know.
Be careful in the choices you make. They all come with consequences. Ask advice. Look at the lives of others. Try and make the choice as intelligently as possible.
And so I’ll be pushing him to make some kind of decision on how to spend his time next year. I’ll also be trying to weigh his strengths and dislikes into the mix, all the while considering the budget and my own need for debt-freedom. I’ll try to guide him but he must make the choice. Any choice and then stick with it long enough to take the next intelligent step.
And then I’ll just need to have faith that it will all work out.