Sep 062015

A lonely and angry Jo’ burg sky has dominated this day.

A grey and angry Jhb skyline

A grey and angry Jhb skyline

The wood in the fireplace is hissing as it struggles to heat and catch. Finally it’s caught but I need it to heat up quite a bit still considering the sodden state of the larger bits.

I’ve taken a rain-enforced break from building this weekend, spending much of the day snoozing on the couch with the dogs and cats. Its been a decent break but a sense of loneliness and melancholy has descended on the house this late afternoon. Magna Carta’s “Lord of the Ages” is playing on the newly-restored amp and Rusty has made herself cozy by the fire, by now a fully-fledged blaze.

I find myself contemplating Ocean Blue. She’s pretty much been mothballed this last 2 years. On Pinterest I find myself “pinning” custom motorcycles but not sailboats? Why is that? What has happened to the dream, the former burning passion for the yacht and sailing?

Despite the reasoning that it’s only a temporary respite, a necessary hiatus while we work hard at making the move to Glencairn, deep down I have this unreasonable, unsettling foreboding that I am no longer a sailor? And that does not sit well with me.

The reason? I still value the dream. Think it worthy. Damn it. I find myself sinking into some kind of depression.

Mar 202015

The world is full of “rules”, full of agendas, full of unspoken pressure to conform.

A direct “Do things my way” is typically quite confrontational and so most sheep resort to various other means to try and create conformity. A frown, silence, hints and insinuations. Peer pressure is a well used one, the art of conformity.

We don’t like you behaviour, your hair, your jeans. We all wear corporate black trousers, white collared shirts. You want to fit in here? Well read the signs……

Granted, some people will deny this exists. Some people will be better at dismissing all of this as a pure figment of the imagination but let’s not kid ourselves that it doesn’t exist. You leave the sheep pen at 15h30 while the rest of the flock are still slaving away in endless, uncoordinated panic and very soon you’ll feel the disapproving atmosphere. It’ll seldom be directly communicated but will certainly be clear in pointed comments [apparently made in jest], raised eyebrows and misguided dislike.

Which of all this intangible “feeling” is important is up to the individual to decide. Most comes from low-ranking sheep but the top-dogs are also not disinclined to have a go. Almost all of it is insinuated rather than directly communicated with openness, integrity and honesty.

Some theory advocates that humans have this instinctual need for acceptance in the group, a consequence of our caveman past where [so the theory goes] to be ostracised almost certainly meant death. I’m not too sure I totally agree with that. Just as today you find independent individuals I’m pretty certain you found lone cavemen skilled and adapted to living life on their own terms.

I’m pretty sure there was a caveman or two saying “Stop hounding me! Stop telling me what to do! Stop pushing your party agendas on me! Stop, Stop, STOP!!” And when they wouldn’t I’m pretty sure he left the cave for a better life on his terms. Sometimes you just need to stand up and say “Leave me alone!

You can live your life fearlessly and “free” only by choice. If there’s not enough bravery in the flock to communicate desires directly then why should one even consider that they might exist in the first place?


Feb 202014

I’m missing my yacht!

Since purchasing Glencairn late last year, what with the December renovation and subsequent monthly long weekends down on the Peninsular, I haven’t really spent the time I would like on board. Sure, I’ve done some sailing, but not much time just being there.

It’s time to just spend a lazy weekend on board, just being there !